If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
