I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
