shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
