just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
