He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
