My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I'm really busy with my period
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