i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
