you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
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