she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
be right there i have to get my cape
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
