Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
