It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
