Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
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