It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
