Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
my shit smells like andre
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
