so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
