did you get engaged???
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
