Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
