real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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