Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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