Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Dicks are not precious.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
