He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
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