OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
