Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
