Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
