That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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