508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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