sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
