shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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