Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
