He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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