You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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