Fuck appropriateness.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
