im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
