How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
