so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
