I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
