Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
