My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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