Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
