PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
