Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
So much rum. So many feels.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
