you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
He shit in the fireplace
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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