All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
