I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
