tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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