I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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