..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
