I heard we made out
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
