i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
