sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
You have to summon your inner elephant
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
We need to get me chipped asap
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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