Pappa wants mamma naked
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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