Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
